Actual Conversation

Mom: [Talking about how recent health issues of beloved family member worry her.] Listen, Adam, if anything like that ever happens to me —

Me: Mom, you don’t even have to say it. Of course I’d pull the plug. There’s no need for prolonged suffering and needlessly burdening loved ones.

Mom: I was going to say don’t let the doctors give me the tylenol with the codeine in it because it’s addictive and I think crackheads steal it and sell it on the street… But it’s good to know I can’t trust you when the time comes. 

Mom was only pretending to be upset, but I think maybe she got upset when Dad couldn’t stop laughing. Also, I added that “I’ll bring a pillow too, just in case” and we’ve been miming the smothering pillow and it just doesn’t get old.

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