the Slate redesign blows
I’ve been reading Slate for about ten years, since I was in junior high.
But it’s been on a downward spiral for a while now. This redesign is the final straw. Thinking about deleting Slate from my bookmarks.
October 2011
87 posts
September 2011
92 posts
I just want to point out that Logan Hudak is a successful Haligonian business owner and is currently enrolled in a masters level trolling program.
HFX Police Facebook UPDATE
Logan: Could these camps have ovens?
Crowley: Even undesirables gotta eat, my friend.
Gerry Clark: Vote NDP and get Adam Conrod elected!
Crowley: Just so we’re clear, this is thinly veiled racism, right?
Ashley Moran: UFC Rules!
Hudak: Gerry, I think you mean CONSERVATIVE. They are the ones sending people away for things like weed possession…
Crowley: Hey, here’s another idea. Instead of camps, maybe it would just be a lot nicer for everyone if we made “people from Cherrybrook” ride at the back of the bus, if you know what I’m saying?
UPDATEDER: apparently this Adam Conrod guy actually is/was an NDP candidate. So why is he sincerely asking the police to stop bus service to parts of Halifax with large black populations? Not cool, dickweed.
Genius.
Play
Presented without comment:
The Cost of Breaking Bad
Incontrovertible proof that I have too much time on my hands: a bunch of the comments on the A.V. Club’s recap said that it seemed odd that Walter White didn’t have the needed $500,000 at the end of Sunday’s episode, Crawl Space. So I did some back of the napkin calculations to try and figure out how much money he actually has. Please don’t judge me.
Walter White’s income:
- $600,000 from the end of season two.
- Whatever the car wash is pulling in, not much.
- $15 Million/year, paid out bi-weekly but split 50-50 with Jesse. I think Walt says this is about $250,000 bi-weekly to Skyler, right? The timeline of the show covers about a year from the pilot to Crawl Space, with the nine month mark being roughly the season two finale. So at most, Walter has been working the super lab for just under three months (but probably less because he didn’t take Gus up on his offer until halfway through season 3). So if he makes $250,000 bi-weekly with 6 pay periods in 3 months, that’s $1.5M.
Total income: $2,100,000
Walt’s expenses:
- Car wash — $800,000
- Buying off Ted Beneke — $621,000
- Having Saul clean up the Dodge Challenger mess — $52,000
- Junior’s PT Cruiser — ?
- Repairing the Aztec quickly and on the down low after using it to commit vehicular homicide — ?
- Fancy pants champagne — $300
- Saul’s legal fees — ?
- Saul’s 5% money laundering fee — ?
- Walter White’s cancer treatment — ?
- Hank’s medical bills and personal trainer — ?
- Hank’s gimpmobile (possibly) — ?
- Walter Junior’s extravagant breakfasts — jk.
- Paying regular bills associated with the White house, Walt’s condo, the Aztec & Skyler’s car — ?
Total expenses: in excess of $1,473,300. For the sake of argument, let’s say that all the unknown expenses total $200,000. That leaves him with $426,700. Plus, his money is spread out. There’s at least $250,000 in the car wash being laundered, plus I’m assuming he has a stack of cash in his condo for his own expenses. In short, there’s no way the crawl space bags have the needed $500,000.
If I had to go just on the term itself, with no hint of meaning, I would have to say that Rosh Hashanah was a girl maybe a year older than me who smoked better weed and went to better parties than I did, but also spent a lot of time in the library.
Wikipedia says she’s actually a Jewish holiday where people worry about going to hell or something?
“
In 2003 the Arts Council for England paid £2,000 for a real-life test of the theorem [that, with enough time, monkeys randomly mashing a typewriter would eventually type the complete works of Shakespeare] involving six Sulawesi crested macaques, but the trial was abandoned after a month.
The monkeys produced five pages of text, mainly composed of the letter S, but failed to type anything close to a word of English, broke the computer and used the keyboard as a lavatory.
observation about microwaves
Most people go a little bit OCD with microwaves and have to put everything in for an even amount of time. Not me. I have to use odd numbers. Sometimes, because I am bad at math, I will stand in front of a microwave for a long time like an idiot trying to figure out what the nearest prime number to the recommended cooking time is (usually it’s 59 or 61 seconds).
But seriously food microwaved to prime numbers just tastes better.
That is some Charlie-level mnemonics
Friend 1: you mean like Plymouth?
Me: yeah exactly… except I’m looking at a map and that’s in England, not Wales. So no. Not at all.
Friend 1: I thought Wales was the South of the British Isles?
Me: well, I guess it’s southerly but it’s also off to the side.
Friend 2: want to hear my trick for remembering where places are?
Friend 1: uh, okay.
Friend 2: you know how Italy is a boot kicking Sicily?
Me: yeah.
Friend 2: well, the British Isles are a wicked witch. England is her face, Scotland is her evil witch hat and Wales is her disgusting, tumorous nose. And Ireland is the cellphone she spends too much time on that’s giving her the nose cancer.
Friend 1: uh, okay.
Friend 2: normally I just think of it as a potato but I just came up with the cell phone theory and I like it more.
Me: that seems like a lot of work for really remembering some basic stuff.
Friend 2: well you can take it further to help you remember where all the little islands are. Like the Channel Islands and the Isle of Man and all that stuff.
Me: yeah?
Friend 2: they’re her evil witch dandruff.
Friend 1: how does that help you remember where they are?
Friend 2: they’re off the coast, because dandruff falls out of your hair and it’s kind of gross.
Friend 1: that doesn’t help at all.
Of course, if I was an actual ghostwriter I would end up making so many horrible mistakes.
Like not knowing when to end something,
“And in conclusion, I think the future of America is a bright one. Why, on this very morning as Jackie and I travel through Dallas in the motorcade, I can actually feel hope in the aiIIIUGH.”
And then instead of an acknowledgments page or index or whatever you put at the end of a book, it would just say, “back and to the left.”
I've probably mentioned this before, but...
I’ve often thought about telling people I’m a ghostwriter at parties or social gatherings or whatever. It’d be such an awesome way to win a pissing contest and/or shut down unwanted conversation.
“Oh you’re a ghostwriter? What have you ghostwritten? You can tell me.”
“No I can’t. If I did a certain beloved ex-president would have my balls cut off. He’s usually a pretty cool guy, but he’s a huge glory hog.”
“Let’s just say I wish I had a time machine. They brought me in at the last minute to salvage this book, but the dude’s handwriting was so shakey.”
