"Destroying the evidence"
poopsadaisy: my new euphemism for getting shitfaced
Yeah, it’s all lies, isn’t it? I mean, don’t tell me that...– Jeremy
Think she's spotted it. Yeeeah. That's right,...
I wish every day could be high fives and slam dunks with Batman.
Adventures at the Registry of Motor Vehicles
Guy ahead of me in line: hey Adam, long time no see. Me: oh, uh, hey. Me: okay, this guy knows me from somewhere but where? School. But elementary? Junior high? High school? University? I want to say elementary-junior high. Oh yeah, that’s Dennis. He was cool. He was the only kid we knew who had diabetes and the teacher always kept a chocolate bar in her desk in case he had a diabetes...
I refuse to believe that Cowboys and Aliens is a C...
Especially considering it stars frigging Han Solo and James Bond.
I could forgive George Lucas if he decided to do...
Don’t get me wrong, Ford is awesome. But imagine Buscemi arguing with Alec Guiness? Or Leia proclaiming her love for Steve Buscemi and him saying, “I know”. Or Steve Buscemi and the Ewoks (Steve Buscemi and the Ewoks is my new band name, by the way).
Why is Vulgar Pooh Bear gone from Tumblr?
This saddens me more than words can say. I fear Disney might have sued them out of existence or something. There’s like, three pictures left, if that. There used to be dozens.
Well, they say revenge is a dish best served cold
I worked at a call centre on summer and it was the worst job ever. I had to read a script to people and try to get them to take a survey and everyone on the phone hated me and I started to hate myself. Everything about the place was awful. You could take breaks but they were strictly timed and you couldn’t do anything without someone looking over your shoulder. I remember you could...
Comics I'm reading:
catching up on the last year or so of Detective Comics. Batman Incorporated it’s not the greatest of Morrison’s Batman work but it is still pretty awesome. Runaways the Marvel comic I’ve been meaning to read since 2004 but just haven’t. some recent-ish Batgirl comics. I think Stephanie Brown is my favourite Batgirl, and I think Barbra Gordon’s return is going to...
Also, Eeyore is my favourite
narrationbymorganfreeman replied to your post: Question I went to go see Rango by myself. The children sitting in front of me kept turning around and staring at me with wide eyed wonder. Definitely bring someone. It wasn’t fun. Children judge us the harshest. refried-beans replied to your post: Question DUDE I WANT TO SEE IT SO BADLY TOO but I have the same issue…..I was thinking of maybe...
So how does a 23-year-old male (who has maybe invested a little too much in projecting an image of masculinity to the world) go about seeing this new Winnie the Pooh movie? Does he ask a friend to see it with him and ‘fess up that he kind of actually wants to see a movie that will make him nostalgic for the earliest days of his youth? Or does he go alone and risk being the creepy guy in the...
Last night I had a dream that two of my friends who live in a different part of the country showed up on my doorstep asking me to help them hide a body. I obliged them and we melted it down Breaking Bad style and hid the container in a storage locker for some reason, but still you have to admit it was kind of a dick move to show up in my dream asking me to help hide a body. I could go to jail for...
I wish Skype would stop being such a malevolent...
When I saw that Amy Winehouse died,
my first thought was, “huh, I didn’t realize she was still alive.”
Tonight I cooked supper for my folks
Second time this week. I am awesome. Tonight I made my favourite dish: spicy, spicy chili. It’s so spicy. The recipe changes based on what’s available, how much time I have to make it, how much effort I feel like putting into it, etc., etc. The only set rule I have for it is that it should be spicy enough to make cowards cry. In other news, tonight I found out which of my family...
Waiting for lolsummer69 to send me those naked pictures. She better be smoking hot considering I gave her my credit card and SIN card numbers, contact information and my mother’s maiden name.
Here's a thought to help you sleep better at...
This little guy and all of his friends will be in bed with you, feasting on your yummy dead skin cells. *by ‘better’ I mean ‘worse’.
Kindle Summer Reading List, As If You Care Part II
Original post here. Books that I listed before and read: The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett (Loved it) The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson (Loved it) The Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson (Still pretty good) The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest by Stieg Larrson (Sort of fell off a bit) World Without End by Ken Follettt (It felt like the video game expansion pack to...
Speaking of Tired
I just misread the title of the Wikipedia article ‘use of courtesy titles and honorifics in professional writing’ as ‘use of courtesy titles and honorifics in professional wrestling’. Time to go to bed, I think.
Alpha Flight was a Marvel Comics super hero team from the 80s, the team was composed entirely of Canadians and was set primarily in Canada. However, it was written by Americans who only knew about Canada from travel brochures and encyclopedia entries. I’m pretty sure there’s one issue where Terry Fox showed up as a superpowered villain who gives people cancer. I’m just kidding,...
Changing the settings on you're Tumblr when your...
Allow reptiles from people you follow. NO FUCK THAT I DON’T WANT REPTILES GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE
Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Dead Cat
by John Dolan. Holmes and Watson are walking along Pleasant Hill Blvd, in Pleasant Hill, California. It’s only May, but it’s already hot and smoggy, and they’re both sweating, Holmes too embarassed to take off that scratchy, hot deerstalking hat, and Watson puffing along, his celluloid collar choking his fat red throat and huge circles of sweat seeping through his hot stiff...
Catholic Web MD
This is my new million dollar idea. It will appeal to mainly to devoted Catholics, lapsed Catholics with health problems and Americans who believe in creationism or whatever. Basically it is an app that will give health advice and diagnose the religious over the web, but obviously from a Catholic perspective. Here are some examples of how our advanced Jesus algorithms work: I have a rash on my...
Sometimes I feel like I should censor my thoughts...
Acquaintance who is apparently new to town: man, I’m dying to go to a beach. Are there any beaches or lakes around here? Me: fuck man, I don’t know. Just fill your bathtub and take some mushrooms. Better than any beach. Acquaintance: erm, well, I was kind of hoping to swim or maybe meet girls haha. Me: oh yeah, in that case I don’t know.
I wish Helen Creighton was still alive so I could...
Can anyone help me think of a clever way to say I spend too much time looking at .gifs of cats to include in the interests section of my resume? I’m thinking of something like “pop culture enthusiast” but if I actually write that down I might have to kill myself.
andyrockcandy: So all these people are talking about how this movie marks the end of their childhood, or being connected to it… but childhood ended when Jake said, ‘Ram the Blade Ship.’ Basically.
So awesome. That was a really graphic neck slit. I don’t think I’ve seen anything so graphic on tv before.
BREAKING BAD BREAKING BAD BREAKING BAD
I’m stupid excited about this show coming back tonight after being gone for more than a year. The worst part about it is that no one around me cares, and it’s hard to explain why I’m excited about a show about meth. I accidentally read some spoilers and there is one thing that seems kind of stupid on paper but I have faith that the show will handle it well. I never understood...
Sometimes I act like an 8-year-old boy
in that I think some part of popular culture is strictly for girls, based on weird prejudices I have. For example, when I heard that The Hunger Games was written by a woman (plus the bad title) I assumed it was about A) anorexic/bulimic girls with food issues or B) sparkly sex vampires or C) sparkly sex vampires who don’t eat because they are anorexic/bulimic. Of course I couldn’t...
You think you know but you have no idea. This is the MTV Video Diary of Anne...– Anne Frank (via notveryraven)
Oh God, you know those faux-documentaries the...
I’m watching one now and it’s scaring the shit out of me on a sunny Saturday morning even though I know it’s probably fake. It’s about alien abductions and the Greys scare the living Hell out of me. The worst part is that there’s one couple on the show who claim to be abducted about an hour outside of the town I live in. It’s really bad. The shitty drawings and...
@PeanutFreeMom is my new favourite source of comedy on Twitter. PeanutFreeMom Debra Jones-O’Brien Um, are there any doctors or lawyers ‘skateboarding’ to work? No. No there are not. PeanutFreeMom Debra Jones-O’Brien Skateboarding is NOT exercise. PeanutFreeMom Debra Jones-O’Brien Skateboarding isn’t exercise. PeanutFreeMom Debra Jones-O’Brien Skateboarding...