So far everything seems animal related. Highlights include:
Eat as many endangered animals as I can. I really want to try panda.
Smuggle a cheetah cub into the country so I can keep it as a pet.
Be involved in at least one life or death situation — because you don’t know what sort of person you are until hostage takers steal your family or you’re tempted to try cannibalism after your plane crashes in the mountains.
Bare knuckle box a black bear. Grizzly and polar bears would fuck me up, but I could take, like, a baby black bear.
Escape from at least one awkward situation using smoke pellets.
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?
Sometimes when I get really into a book, my internal monologue takes on the voice of the author, to the best of my ability. It also shows up in my writing (but not in a good way) and my speech. The summer I finally got into Hemmingway, I kept catching myself thinking in short, straightforward sentences, like I was trying to cut all the fat out of my thoughts. And I overused the word “and”. That wasn’t so bad.
When I was into Tolkein, I kept adding weird and often unnecessary clauses to things I’d say. Not because Tolkein writes like that, I don’t think, but because that’s how my brain imitated his writing. I did the same thing last summer when I got really into Raymond Chandler, only it was worse because I’d catch myself doing it and then spend too much time trying to come up with clever smilies and failing miserably.
The worst though was the first time I caught myself doing this, back when I thought Hunter S Thompson was the greatest writer who ever lived. I wasn’t nearly as cool as I thought I was. I must have been insufferable.
Recently, I’ve been reading a book in my spare time that’s actually so awful I can’t mention it by name, and caught myself today using one of the author’s far too frequent acronyms. Which is just another way of saying that I need to finish this book quickly so I can put it behind me, and then replace it in my brain space with something better.
Are you still going to be in Halifax next year? Am I ever going to meet you? I hear about you all the time, but you may as well be a unicorn beCuZ u R oNly in mY FanTa-Cs.
I hear about you from our mutual friends as well. Which is weird because obviously we’ve never met. I have no idea if I will be in Halifax next year. There’s probably a 50/50 chance that I will be. I don’t know. It’s bad because it’s almost April and I still don’t have concrete plans for next year.
If I was a unicorn I’d poke peoples eyes out and then fart the most majestic rainbows of all time but no one would be able to see them except for me because everyone else would be blind.
So today when I got home I looked out my window and watched an emergency helicopter land on the nearby hospital. After that was done I watched two excavators tear down the abandoned school. My window is like a television but with no real plot.
So my friend Justin and I figured out an awesome way to get over our social awkwardness. From now on when we’re in over our heads socially, the glasses are coming off. Awkward in front of humans? Check. Awkward in front of pale blurs? Probably not.
On the other hand, I’ll probably be trading awkwardness for clumsiness, but it’ll be worth it.
Yes! I saw it in theatre three times. One of the best sci-fi films of the decade. I really hope there is a sequel. Also, Alive in Joburg is an amazing short film, which was the basis of the film. Definitely worth tracking down on Youtube.
Can anyone recommend some good alien visitation films?
Serious truth: the Greys scare the shit out of me, but also fascinate me too. It’s weird. I’m kind of stoked to see Paul, the new Simon Pegg & Nick Frost movie, this weekend. I love the X-Files (even the later seasons with Doggett instead of Mulder. I know.) and I’m going to re-watch Close Encounters of the Third Kind sometime soon (scariest movie I’ve ever seen). But there’s got to be something else good out there, right?
I re-watched Independence Day a few years back and it didn’t quite live up to my memories from seeing it as a kid. On the other hand, I really liked Speilberg’s War of the Worlds. It was basically every nightmare I had from age five to age fifteen, but with Tom Cruise.
I am irrationally jealous of people who go missing and are later presumed dead.
Let me clarify: I am not in any way envious of people who get kidnapped and raped or murdered or who fake their own deaths to cheat taxes. Just the people who go missing and are never found, but who we all sort of presume met a bad end. I don’t know. Obviously it’s weird and a little disconcerting, but I guess people who go missing don’t have long and awkward phone conversations with their parents or whatever.
It’s a shame that hitchhiking has fallen out of favour. That was always a sure fire way to end up missing forever. Now people just sit around and let the whole world know where they are on their fivesquares or whatever you kids call them.