December 2011
90 posts
1 tag
The greatest Wikipedia article I've found (this...
The 1904 Summer Olympics marathon was the most bizarre event of the Games. It was run in brutally hot weather, over dusty roads, with horses and automobiles clearing the way and creating dust clouds. The first to arrive at the finish line was Frederick Lorz, who had stopped running because of exhaustion after nine miles (14.5 km). His manager gave him a lift in his car for the next eleven...
November 2011
69 posts
2 tags
Just another reason Chew is one of my favourite comics out there.
2 tags
Life advice
I’ve been giving out life advice on how to deal with anxiety.
2 tags
Anne Frank's Very Quiet Bedtime Stories
Me: want to hear my idea for a children’s book that’s in poor taste?
Brother: yeah tell me.
Me: it’s called Anne Frank’s Very Quiet Bedtime Stories.
Brother: okay, I’m digging it so far. What’s it about? Does it just make fun of Anne Frank?
Me: the joke is that it’s about her childhood years spent in… do you not know who Anne Frank is?
Brother:...
4 tags
Amazing animated comic book cover .gifs
Tony Stark going through the DTs is a winner. I’d probably turn to alcohol too if I knew I was a second rate Batman ripoff.
1 tag
"I won't bore you with the details, but since I've...
1 tag
1 tag
So Mom decorated for Christmas and some of the decorations she has are Santa Claus heads and they look like shrunken heads. Every time I look at the Santa Shrunken Heads all I can think about is a bloody revolution at the North Pole, possibly precipitated by outsourcing the labour to a tribe from Ecuador or Peru.
2 tags
some questions about 'the floor is lava' game.
synecdoche:
How come furniture and stuff never got destroyed by the lava?
Did the kids who were the best grow up to be obnoxious teens who do parkour?
Is ‘the floor is lava!’ an acceptable excuse for me staying in bed all day?
Have you ever tried randomly playing this in a room full of drunk people?
In my house, at any rate, the furniture and stuff was made up of igneous rock, which itself...
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
Here's one for the annals of poor taste:
The Ass Goblins of Auschwitz, by Cameron Pierce (2009).
In a land where black snow falls in the shape of swastikas, there exists a nightmarish prison camp known as Auschwitz. It is run by a fascist, flatulent race of aliens called the Ass Goblins, who travel in apple-shaped spaceships to abduct children from the neighboring world of Kidland. Prisoners 999 and 1001 are conjoined twin brothers...
On the economy
[Name Redacted]: so what would your ideal job be?
Me: You remember that old black and white cartoon, I can’t remember if it was Mickey Mouse or Bosko, but anyways he gets hit by a car and goes to hell? And there’s an imp demon that whips him over and over with an electrical chord? I’d like to do that, I guess, with the chord.
[NR]: huh. [later] So how do you feel about...
2 tags
The most pretentious sentence ever?
“I just finished reading The Sense of an Ending now, but I’ve had it on my Kindle before it was shortlisted (for the Man Booker Prize).”
Whatever. IT WAS A REALLY GOOD BOOK.
1 tag
I need new music
but don’t know what to listen to. So I need your help.
I’d post what’s currently rotating on my iPod, but that’s both a) embarrassing as all fuck and b) kind of against the point when I want to listen to something new.
So leave it below or drop a suggestion in my ask box, if you’d be so kind.
Thanks in advance.
?
1 tag
1 tag
4 tags
Speaking of Batman...
I was just watching this thing with Rob Brydon and he said that, apparently, back in the 60s when the Batman show was popular, Burt Ward had a thing he called his ‘Batograph’ where he would, ahem, ‘come on a girl’s breasts and then sign his name in the ejaculate.’
Completely disgusting or kind of classy? You decide.
3 tags
Isn't it weird that no one's ever seen Bruce Wayne...
I think someone should introduce them because they would totally be best friends. Think about it: everyone knows that Mr. Wayne’s parents were shot dead right in front of him as a child, and Batman dedicates his life to fighting crime. They would be like two peas in a pod tbqh.
Also they both have a weird thing for underage boys.
One of my friends disagrees. He told me that friends because...
1 tag
Just clearing out some old files from my laptop
And I came across a file named ‘GENIUS IDEA — TRADEMARK ASAP — DON’T LET THIS GO TO WASTE.doc’ and I’m kind of excited and I click it open and the entirety of the file reads:
Saturday.
So I figure I either wasted the best idea of my entire life, or I invented what might be the greatest day that the week has ever known.
1 tag
Today I've been annoying my family with my awful...
I have four characters that I sort of do: The Bunk, Bubbles, McNulty-Cedric Daniels hybrid and my one size fits all Weebay-Snoop Gangster.
The Bunk involves me mumbling and saying inappropriate things. “Look at that bowlegged muther fucka.” “Adam, could you not curse at the dinner table?” “I made him walk like that.” I also say ‘done’ a lot and talk...
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
So this is kind of embarrassing...
I’ve just been told that, apparently, I make a pained face when I’m waiting for a page to load and it’s taking too long.
I didn’t even know this about myself.
Obviously my biggest fear in life
is that my web browser’s history suddenly becomes public.
I would have to commit ritual sepukku if this happened.
3 tags
More:
3 tags
themorallycorruptfayeresnick asked: Larry isn't fit to hold the title of Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office, Humphrey (1988-2006) was the greatest mouser we've had.
3 tags
BREAKING NEWS: Downing Street cat caught napping
Larry looking very comfortable on a hot air vent beside the famous black door of No 10.
From the BBC:
Downing Street’s cat - and official rodent catcher - Larry has been spotted asleep on the job for several hours.
The tabby was brought to No 10 to tackle the rat problem, but on Monday it emerged that a mouse had appeared at a recent prime ministerial dinner.
The PM’s spokesman...
1 tag
“Yeah, the poor bastard. He actually said that Nickelback must be a good band because of how financially successful they were and that Chad Kroeger was an inspiration to him. You could just see the wolves circling round. There was no helping him. They didn’t let up until he pretty much quit music.”
Just explaining the internet to some noobs.
1 tag
Trying to decide if I should make a proper...
I want to make an egg and toast but that’s going to take at least seven minutes.
1 tag
3 tags
Also when I was a kid I would take an empty peanut butter jar, wash it out and rip off the label. Then I’d fill it with water and drop Han Solo inside and then chuck it in my freezer overnight. Sometimes I would put Batman or Robin in the jar instead if Mr. Freeze was menacing Gotham/the living room.
I guess it was kind of annoying because I’d inevitably get water all over the floor...
