Dying alone and other inappropriate sources of...
God, I suck at consoling friends when they’re down. It’s one thing I wish I was better at doing. Friend: so you know [REDACTED]’s mom died, right? Me: huh I suppose I just won’t mention anything to him because I’m horrible like that. Different Friend: I’m worried I’m going to die alone. Me[thinking]: what’s so bad about that? I mean, I guess it...
God I hate Halifax at this time of year. All there is to do is get drunk and bitch about things. Speaking of which, our rival city, Moncton, is bragging about how awesome they are for getting U2 to play their shitty summer music festival. U2 is so lame. Bono is probably just gonna get all preachy about how we should save all the starving kids in Ireland or whatever. You know why people took...
I needed a drink, I needed a lot of life insurance, I needed a vacation, I...– I’m pretty sure the only people who don’t like Raymond Chandler are people who haven’t read him.
Charlie Sheen's got the right idea. I need to...
ladies, you may apply in the ask box. Please include at least three references.
Anonymous asked: Would you really the Queen?
There's something irresistible about a powerful...
I mean really who needs porn when this fine thing is on the back of your currency?
Who is the most horrible human being?
Having trouble deciding between: Hahaha. Just kidding. I have mad respect for the accomplishments of Ghengis Khan and Dr. Doom.
mackcloud replied to your post: Really horrible awkward question but who is this txt me Okay mackcloud, you’re going to have to Sherlock this one out for yourself. But I’ll help you with the logic, Holmes. First: is there some sort of network that would make tracking people we know socially easier, to the point of virtually stalking them? Second: if so, look at all of the...
Hmm... no matter which sentiment you express...
Maybe I just won’t say anything.
Really horrible awkward question but
is “happy birthday! (Sorry about the recent death of your parent.)” an acceptable Facebook post? Or should I break it up into two posts?
I really hate human beings
but sometimes I worry it’s sour grapes.
I want to get a tattoo of me as an old man...
Instant Message Convo
Friend: :3 Me: What kind of stupid emoticon is that? I’m confused. Is it angry? Happy? Sad? It looks like Ponda Baba. Seriously, who uses emoticons related to the cantina scene?
Other great comics I would like to happen:
Would totally read Final Jeopardy if it existed.
I would like to go to Adult School to learn how to...
unicornology: Classes I would take: Groceries 101 The US Postal Service: What the Fuck Is This Shit Sleeping at Night and Not Like a Vampire Getting Your Shit Together 251
My Oscar predictions:
I will not be watching them who gives a shit
Also you, you, you and you. Anyone know Russian? I’d love to know what these say.
Having trouble deciding which of these Soviet Era Work Hazard Posters is my favourite, but Oh-shit-a-bunch-of-bricks-just-decided-to-fall-on-me dude is a contender. http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/01/24/soviet-era-posters-work-hazard-posters/
I found an unclaimed gatorade lying at the bottom...
Ashley: Please don’t get any grease on the [PS3] controller. Justin: But how will I eat my home fries? Blank stares, everyone is clearly thinking. Me: USE THE COOKIES AS A TOOL TO PICK UP THE POTATOES Justin: Genius! Cookie tongs! Me: I should patent this idea. Scott: They already have. It’s called forks. I actually completely forgot that forks existed until Scott pointed this...
Sex them up
For fossil hunters, it represents one of those breakthrough moments. A pterosaur has been found in China beautifully preserved with an egg. The egg indicates this ancient flying reptile was a female, and that realisation has allowed researchers to sex these creatures for the first time. Great choice of words, BBC. Now I can’t get the image of a bunch lab coated scientists sticking...
I guess he could have been cold. It would explain why he was running - to get indoors. And why his hands were awkwardly in his pouch while running - to keep them warm. Actually, this makes a lot of sense. Fuck, I never see anything cool.
So, I might have seen someone fleeing from the scene of a crime last night. Maybe. I couldn’t sleep so I decided to go for a walk down Quinpool Road in the cold at 3 am (because I’m awesome/retarded like that) and I saw this kid running as fast as he could. He was wearing a hoody with the hood up and it was clear he was holding onto something in his pockets. Why would you run like...
Attention IRL friends: wake the fuck up. I want to...
4 Loko rejected FDA warning
Still, I kind of wish I had tried it.
http://halifax.craigs-lisp.com/ Well, it is kind of funny.
People like Coldplay and voting for the Nazis, you can’t trust people Jeremy.– Super Hans (Peep Show)
God, she loves violence. They probably all do, really. The say they want you to...– Mark Corrigan
Maybe there’s nothing wrong with me and I’m just a normal human...
I'm just a normal functioning member of the human...
God I love Jurassic Park
Shoot her! Shooooot her! It’s good on so many levels. Level one: science. This movie has it all. It totally sparked my interest in science as a youngster. It talked about cloning before Dolly the Sheep was even a thing. And it has parthenogenesis. And every kid loves dinosaurs. And chaos theory! Chaos theory was a gateway drug for me. It led to other drugs like reading about string theory...
CBC.ca | Day 6 | Giller Winners Read Snooki's Book →
This is special and I have to share it. I don’t really know who or what Snooki is, except that she’s related to the whole Jersey Shore thing. Linden MacIntyre, on the other hand, is really cool. He’s a very serious journalist who hosts CBC’s The Fifth Estate and he won the Giller prize for his novel The Bishop’s Man. I’ve literally burst out laughing every time...
Despite staying home all day and doing nothing, I still managed to learn quite a bit. Wish I hadn’t, though.
I’m excited for a CBC documentary airing tomorrow. About algae. Am I that lame? Yes. It’s about algae that can be converted to fuel, for like cars and stuff. Not hybrid cars, either. The cars on the road right now. And I suspect Gwynne Dyer might make an appearance. He is my favourite. The best ever. I am so lame.
Friend: I don’t want to move away, unless I have to. The job offer is nice, but I have friends here. Other Friend: you’ll make new friends. Me: you’ll make better friends.
Me: c’est tres…. allez une boose arrete. La boxe de le glace. La fermetre. To go there. Friend: your French is shit. Me: c’est vrais. C’est merde.