- Friend: This video is kind of unsettling.
- Alpha Invictus: No way. I can handle anything.
- Video Loading
- Alpha Invictus' Internal Monologue: oh shit this is that kid with progeria who looks like an alien.
- Friend: Thoughts?
- Alpha Invictus: I lasted literally less than one second.
I heard a story about Schopenhauer, once. Supposedly he was visiting a greenhouse (or whatever the 19th century equivalent was) and was studying a flower with such intensity that he attracted the attention of the clerk, who thought maybe Schopenhauer was a specialist.
The clerk asked, “who are you?”
Old Schopey just looked at the guy for a minute, then responded, “If you could only answer that question for me, I would be eternally grateful.”
Long story short, I’m going to have to answer your question with Schopenhauer’s answer.
This is my favourite overheard out-of-context quote of all time. MackCloud and I overheard one of the girls who lived above us shout this to her roommate back when we were living the dorm life.
It was extra awesome because I’m pretty sure we heard it during a quiet night when everyone was busy studying as opposed to a loud and raucous Monday night party (oh how I miss drinking on Monday nights).
Mackcloud was friends with one of the girls who lived above us and tried to figure out the context of the quote, but it is so much funnier not having a clue as to what they were talking about.
One and a half more reasons I need to get out of this miserable town and find my way back home.
Dad’s reply, “Oh, come on. Your mother didn’t burn the chicken that much.”
I’m dead serious. It would be a mercy killing at this point. I turn into the worst kind of nerd in the summer. I haven’t read anything that wasn’t a comic book in months. And it’s mostly been Batman and Spider-man comics I’ve been reading.
Oh, and yesterday I made a very detailed inventory of the childhood action figures I still have lying around. Mostly they are Batman toys, Beast Wars Transformers and Star Wars action figures.
I also spent a great deal of time looking for the 2-part Spider-man story called Flowers for Rhino at a local comic book shop. It’s a parody of the classic science fiction short story Flowers for Algernon. I did not need Wikipedia to tell me the story takes place in issues five and six of Spider-Man’s Tangled Web.
I have also gone on at least two rants about how good the new Batman and Robin comics are, because now Dick Grayson is Batman and there’s a new Robin.
For the record, I’m not usually this nerdy. I swear. I do fun things with fun people. But I’ve been spending the summer at my parents’ place (extra demerit points right there) in Alberta, approximately 4,000km from anyone I would call a good friend. So I’m replacing my human need for company with Batman comics.
So if you’d like to shoot me, please go ahead.
Okay, but only if you promise you are not a serial killer who scalps people. I’ve been tricked by people promising adventure on the Internet before.
[Who is this?]