Speaking of philosophers...
I shaved my giant-ass beard. It was huge. Now it is no more. And sorry for the pessimism. Too much time in northern Alberta will do that to you.
Schopenhauer is my favourite philosopher ever. He is also my favourite German ever. He was a true pessimist who said that life is a “choice between loneliness and vulgarity.” His mother was one of the first female novelists to write under her own name, using neither a pseudonym or her initials. No one remembers her novels today. When Schopenhauer’s first book was published...
Check it out
So my brother, Kyle, has some photos up from his recent volunteering trip to the Dominican Republic over at 68east.ca, an east coast skater zine. Check them out if you are into that sort of thing.
GIVE HIM A KISS HE IS STILL YOUR FATHER
“Lilian, do you remember your papa? He has been off fighting Fritz in the war. Don’t fidget, Lilian; Papa is a hero. Don’t pout girl, help me take the tea and crumpets to - oh look now you’ve spilled everything. What? Are you crying? Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. Papa isn’t angry, look he is just trying to smile… GIVE HIM A KISS HE IS...
Million Dollar Idea
MackCloud and I have stumbled upon a million dollar idea. We’re going to start a record label and produce bands composed entirely of religous people. We’re going to bring metal and punk to totally untapped markets. Like this, but more dark and brutal. So far we have: Bad Habit - heavy metal nuns who shred guitar. The Mormon Massacre - we need to find a way to make mormonism...
Anonymous asked: Hey Alpha Invictus, I was wondering what your position is creepy librarian spinsters who like to accuse people of gratuitious drug use when it's only true 90% of the time. Should I kill her in her sleep, or just continue to psychologically torture her? I am a lethel killing machine.
Canada: 17 years ahead of Australia
Kim Campbell became the first female prime minister of Canada exactly seventeen years ago today. Though, to be fair, Gillard is the hotter of the two. And Britain beat us both to the punch.
I am going to teach you a secret handshake, that was taught to me many years ago by a wise old Mexican. He told me, “Alpha Invictus, share this secret handshake with only those yo trust the most. Should you post this on the Internet, I’ll hunt you down and kill you… Naaaw, I’m just kidding, bro.” Still, I’m not taking any chances. I’m posting this from a...
Why I'm starting this...
I am starting this blog because I can’t rent movies anymore. I kept one movie out for way too long and now I owe the movie rental store a testicle. That’s right, a testicle. See, when I first tried to pay off the bill, I only owed them a finger. But as I pulled my pocket knife out and grimaced at the cashier, he reminded me that I only owed them “a finger” not...